Church Football

It's NFL Playoff time! (Please no snickering, scoffing, laughing and/or disparaging, or rude remarks about the Dallas Cowboys. I know!).  Here's some Church Football to think about.  I first read this in 1999!!

Quarterback Sneak: Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play: What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime: The time between Sunday School and worship when many chose to leave.

Benchwarmer: Church members who do not sing, pray, work, or anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion: Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning: The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death: What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap: You're called on to pray and you are asleep.

End Run: Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option: The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz: The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer. 

Funny!  But don't hide behind the humor!  Think about it!